Monday, October 30, 2006
10:40 pm
busy busy busy.
many deadlines and things coming up.
rush rush rush.
don't like.
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+ +Sunday, October 29, 2006
8:12 pm
It's official: my wallet is stolen.
it hasn't returned to me after 6 days, means whoever has it has no intention of returning it anymore.
my poor IC is not even one year old yet.
i've cancelled my ez-link card and its officially terminated by now.
i'm going down to ICA this tuesday to apply for a new IC. hehs. hopefully, my parents allow me to put "Christianity" under the Religion section instead of having a "-" there.
and as for this friday's H1 A Level Chinese Exam, i guess i wont have an IC... Have to bring something else.
talking about chinese, i think i better start getting more serious. Quote from a movie i watched recently:
"How much time do we have left? Not much." - School of Life
Hehs. still got time to watch movie you say? yea. i gotta get tough on myself.
how?
hiatus?
+
+ +8:12 pm
It's official: my wallet is stolen.
it hasn't returned to me after 6 days, means whoever has it has no intention of returning it anymore.
my poor IC is not even one year old yet.
i've cancelled my ez-link card and its officially terminated by now.
i'm going down to ICA this tuesday to apply for a new IC. hehs. hopefully, my parents allow me to put "Christianity" under the Religion section instead of having a "-" there.
and as for this friday's H1 A Level Chinese Exam, i guess i wont have an IC... Have to bring something else.
talking about chinese, i think i better start getting more serious. Quote from a movie i watched recently:
"How much time do we have left? Not much." - School of Life
Hehs. still got time to watch movie you say? yea. i gotta get tough on myself.
how?
hiatus?
+
+ +Tuesday, October 24, 2006
9:54 am
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
- Romans 8:28
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+ +Monday, October 23, 2006
7:40 pm
i lost a blue plastic bag containing my wallet and many valuable things (IC, ez link card, PAssion card, new photocopying card etc etc)
surprisingly i'm not overly agitated or worried or anxious though i try to be
my mind tells me to get anxious and worried
but my heart doesnt obey.
it's back to the same old d(peace)/d(indifference) question. what is it exactly? i have no idea.
just numb. strange?
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+ +Friday, October 20, 2006
9:17 pm
all glory and credit goes to God.
i'm really thankful for my promo grades, some i feel were a little undeserved.
yes, i agree its easy to say "thank God! Praise the Lord!" when things are good, everything just falls right into place.
i hope i won't be fair-weathered when the times of trials or unfairness or difficulties come. i really do.
Jesus, help me.
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+ +Thursday, October 19, 2006
8:50 pm
this is slightly creepy again...
today when i went home after physics, i was typing an email to someone who was feeling quite down recently. i felt strongly that it was what God wanted me to do, to comfort this person who confided in me recently. so, i started typing once i reached home, until around 5.20pm. after the email was sent, i rushed out of the house because i had to attend the OBK Pre-trip briefing at 6pm.
along the way, i prayed that the bus 13 would come so that i would reach PA HQ on time. guess what?
bus 13 arrived when i reached the bus stop. WHOA right? but this is not the main thing.
initially,
i thought to myself that i should trust God to bring me there safely and on time.
then, along the way i found myself feeling lost after passing by Bendeemer. i started panicking because it was already 5.53pm. i called my mum and she said, "bendeemer ah? wah. that's a long journey to kallang hor." =x 7 minutes left.. how could i afford to remain on the bus for this "long journey"? so, with my mum's encouragement, i alighted the bus to take a cab.
it took me quite some time to flag a cab down. while waiting for one, i saw another bus 13 passing by. i distinctly remember that it was green. soon after, i managed to get a cab.
you know what??? it turns out that bendeemer was in fact already very close to kallang. and, when the
taxi passed by kallang mrt, i saw that green bus 13!!! at first, i refused to believe that it was the 2nd bus 13 i saw. instead, i wanted to believe that it was the bus i was on but after reasoning it out, i came to admit the fact that it was the 2nd bus 13 -_-"
anyway, i was still on the cab, and the traffic was heavy. heh. -_-" it would have been faster if i walked. so, it turns out that i arrived 5 min late. and guess how much the taxi fare was?
$5.40!!! (there was an additional $2 for peak hrs or something)
in short, if i had stayed on the bus 13 instead,
1) i would have arrived at PA on time2) i would have saved the exorbitant taxi fare of $5.40i felt super guilty on the cab la. especially after seeing the bus 13 when i was in the cab. heh. God answered my prayer, given me the bus i prayed for and had been faithful all the while... and at this very "critical moment" where my trust in Him was tested,
i chose to believe and heed my mum's words instead of relying on God's provision!!
i was feeling so totally bad during the presentation/briefing for quite some time. heh.
but then, i remembered "there is no condemnation in Christ". if
He forgives our sins,
how can we not forgive ourself?so from then on i felt peaceful, but still slightly shocked/jolted by the incident. (this is not the first time such an incident has happened) and i realised that the price i paid each time increases.
heh. God has a plan and will make things work out for the better for those who love Him.
why cant we just trust in His amazing ways, ways sometimes way beyond comprehension of the human mind?
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+ +Wednesday, October 18, 2006
10:35 pm
i was inflicted with intermittent headache attacks since PW ended yesterday till today. thus, i was absent from college.
gracias mi amiga
thanks jasmine
thanks jack
thanks angela
... for calling/sms-ing me while you were in school today (in order of call/sms received)
3 people called me in the morning also. i faintly remember hearing "XiaoQi" as the 1st caller and my mum said she couldn't remember the other 2. whoever the 2 other callers are, thank you =)
i deduced that they were computer-use-induced headaches since they come back whenever i use the computer (rushing PW ad =x)
bad thing is, i think i'm coming down with a cold now =x
... must be my sister >.<
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+ +7:19 pm
the results i've gotten back so far - bio mcq & chem mcq - are way beyond my expectations.
all i can say is Praise the Lord!!! Really, this could not have been done without the strength God has given me, the people He has placed around me, the wisdom and peace that the Lord has granted me.
There is none like You
There is none like You
No one else can touch my heart like You do
I could search for all eternity long
And find
There is none like You
Your mercy flows like a river wide
And healing comes in Your Name
Helpless children are safe in Your arms
And there is none like you
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+ +Tuesday, October 17, 2006
9:53 pm
What is wrong with me?
I've been on a "fault-finding spree" recently, which i'm ashamed about.
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged.
For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. - Matthew 7:1-5 (NIV, emphasis mine)
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+ +Sunday, October 15, 2006
11:35 pm
I have great news =D
Math results upped two grades, obtained 80% for math va!!!
Thank you mi amiga for telling me mr tsang's hp number so can know in advance ^_^ haha.
There is one person whom i have to thank immensely. He is none other than kor.
Thank you for sending me your whole math va to can1 kao3. Thank you for sacrificing your time to teach me even though you have other things consuming your time. Thank you for being ever so patient with me. i really appreciate it ^_^
Most of all, i thank God for putting kor in my life. Would all these have been possible without God?
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+ +3:12 pm
Memories will always be caught, entangled within a complex web of emotions.
The web is unbreakable. Is it a good thing?
PL's 90th Founder's Day Anniversary was amazing!
Founder's Day ServiceGraduands got the chance to wear the navy blue graduation gown and cap with a yellow tassel. So COOL. PL's the only secondary school i've known that does such a thing =P
What made the service really enjoyable was being back in Christian environment i've grown up in the 10 formative years of my life. It was warm and welcoming, where people just exclaim "Praise the Lord!", openly, on stage, over the PA system etc. People can sing praises unto God anywhere and everywhere without fearing "getting caught/scolded/reprimanded". There was praise and worship every morning during assembly, every Wednesday during Chapel sessions, every GB meeting. It's just so awesome... I remember not understanding why the past valedictorians/head prefects never failed to mention that they missed Chapel sessions and singspiration the most when they left PL. That was totally how i felt once i left the "sheltering walls" of PL, catapulted into this strange place (which also happened to contain creatures i rarely had any contact with for the past 10 years) called NJC.
The ironic thing is that i've learnt much much more about our amazing God in these 10 months out of PL than in the 10 years in PL.
10 months>10 years -_-"
Sometimes, we humans only appreciate things more when they're taken away from us huh?
I can't help but feel that i "wasted", did not make full use of these 10 years of Chapel sessions, singing for the sake of singing, falling asleep when the message was shared, even complaining.
I am ashamed by my behaviour and attitude in the past.
Thankfully, all that is the past. I just thank God for His graciousness and patience with me, His renewal and transformation of my mind, becoming a new creation in Christ.
PL 90th Anniversary Thanksgiving & Reunion DinnerI didn't want to wear the same top i wore for Cambridge Dinner so i bought a top that was less formal, right after i left NJC Open Day.
I sat at table 39- the "4A1 table". Sadly, only 6 4A1ers attended. Some came with their parents; my mum attended the dinner as well but sat with her classmates at another table ;)
Again, they started with Praise and Worship =D the song "
Jesus Shall Take the Highest Honour" is really meaningful.
Jesus shall take the highest honour
Jesus shall take the highest praise
Let all earth join heaven in exalting
The name which is above all other names
Let's bow the knee in humble adoration
For at his name, every knee shall bow
Let every tongue confess,
He is Christ God's only son,
Sovereign Lord, we give you glory now
For all honour and blessing and power
Belongs to you, belongs to you
All honour and blessing and power
belongs to you, belongs to you
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God.
Halfway during the dinner, some teachers performed the song "
Circle of Friends", which is really meaningful as well. Here are the lyrics of the song, dedicated to
all my friends out there.
We were made to love and be loved
But the price this world demands will cost you far too much
I spent so many years just trying to fit in
Now I've found a place in this circle of friends
In a circle of friends we have one father
In a circle of friends we share this prayer
That every orphaned soul will know
And all will enter in
To the shelter of this circle of friends
If you weep, I will weep with you
If you sing for joy the rest of us will lift our voices too
But no matter what you feel inside theres no need to pretend
Thats the way it is in this circle of friends
In a circle of friends
We have one father
In a circle of friends we share this prayer
That we'll gather together no matter how the highway bends
I will not lose this circle of friends
Among the nations, tribes and tongues we have sisters and brothers
And when we meet in heaven we will recognize each other
With joy so deep and love so sweet
Oh we'll celebrate these friends
And a life that never ends
In a circle of friends we have one Father
In a circle of friends we share this prayer
That will not be long before
All will enter in
To the shelter of this circle of friendsThere was also a part where the lights were dimmed and everyone passed on the flame (creating a sea of lighted candles), while singing the song "Go Light Your World"-school theme song when we were in Sec 1. I managed to capture a few shots of the beautiful scene ^_^
All the thoughts and emotions are just swirling about in my mind. I just can't seem to get them all down. So i guess that's it for now ;)
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+ +Friday, October 13, 2006
9:29 pm
[j-reflections: septober 2006]
Part III290906:
- Math paper. it was quite dumb because i forgot how to do simple integration and differentiation steps, and binomial expansion!! so, the paper didnt go too well. when time was up, i reasoned that i should be feeling disappointed with my performance. i was trying to force myself to be sad because i reasoned that it was the rightful emotional response to the event.
- then i was wondering... how do u d(peace)/d(indifference)? or is it easier to d(indifference)/d(peace)? strange thing is, i nearly tried it out. HAH. then i decided it was dumb and dumped the thought
- i wanted to be "normal" and feel disappointed but after several hrs of futile attempts, i gave up at trying to be disappointed. what really bothered me was my behaviour.
- i do not do what i want to do.
300906:
- Agree with me that everyone has a different skill set, a unique combination of weaknesses and strengths. none is identical, and none can ever be better than others in every aspect. there will be flaws because humans are imperfect creatures. creatures with hearts that have evil, sinful tendencies. everyone is strong and weak in different areas. i guess this "forces" people to learn to support and help those lacking in the area we are strong in. the common saying, "no man is an island" had renewed meaning to me. to me, it's God's plan for interaction and fellowship between humans.
- sometimes, i feel that i just do not fully understand what i'm being told time and time again unless i experience and understand the personal application of such wisdom. heh.
- less serious stuff: i arrived at BCC 5 minutes late and there were no cubicles left. there were 2 open tables for 4, which were occupied by one person each(both guys). i went to the nearest one, asking if i could share the table. who knew, after a while, that guy's girlfriend came?! it was totally embarrasing and i didnt know what to do. i didnt want to go home because i wouldnt be able to concentrate. so, i just stayed put. thick-skin a bit, continued sitting there but i rushed to an empty cubicle when someone left =P i reckon i played gooseberry for 5hrs? haha
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+ +Sunday, October 08, 2006
11:50 pm
Miracles
God works so many miracles and I’ve been really blessed to experience so many such miracles in the short time I’ve known my Lord Jesus Christ. I’m going to share a few today.
1. Once, kor asked me if I knew who the 2 people who did not experience physical death in the Old Testament were. He said one could be found in the Book of Genesis, the other in the Book of Kings. I knew the one in Genesis-Enoch. He was taken away by the Lord because he was walking so closely with God. The other one, I didn’t know. So one day, after I did my Quiet Time (basically time set aside for God, to read God’s Word and to pray), I jokingly asked God who the 2nd person was and to reveal the answer to me when I flipped the Bible. In my mind I was actually prepared to flip the Bible like around more than 5 times because I didn’t think it would be so easy to spot. Then, the first time I flipped, the page opened at the Book of Samuel. It wasn’t in Samuel so I just flipped the Bible one more time (I admit I don’t know the Bible very well so I didn’t know if Kings came before or after Samuel). Guess what? The page opened at 2 Kings. And continue guessing. Okay I think you know it already. There, on that very page, I saw the words “Elijah Taken Up to Heaven”. WHOA!!! Honestly, I was VERY shocked. Stunned. At a loss for words. I didn’t expect the answer to come so easily. To cut the long story short, I calculated the probability of arriving at that page. There is 1 Kings and 2 Kings (two books). In total, there are 48 pages in Kings. Do the Math, and you get 1/48, or slightly higher than 2% chance of getting that particular page. And this figure has not taken into account the other Books in Old Testament. There are 714 pages in Old Testament. If you factor that in, the probability would be like 0.00_% or even less! WHOA. Praise the Lord =D
2. Just today, Sunday 8 October 2006, I missed 156 by approximately 30seconds. I was stoning at the bus stop because I was tired from trying to catch the bus from the other side of the overhead bridge. Around 10 minutes later, I said a short prayer. I told God I didn’t want to be late for service after not being able to go for 2 weeks (and admitted it's my fault for not leaving few minutes earlier). Guess what? 156 arrived when I said ‘Amen’. WHOA. Since when did the waiting time for 156 drop to 10 minutes huh? Ahaha. So i managed to arrive at church on time. Praise the Lord =D
3. This one I think it can be considered as a miracle also. The PSI on Saturday night reached 150 right? And it dropped to like 27 on Sunday morning. WHOA. News just reported that there happens to be a strong wind blowing it away and that the haze could come back again tomorrow. Hmms. Seems like Divine Intervention to me! Ahaha. God give clear skies so that people travel to and from church without being exposed to too much haze ; )
I haven't finished [j-reflections: septober 2006] yet okay? ahaha. i just felt the need to share the miracles; and i'm getting lazy to type the random thoughts out. but i'll still do that la =P
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+ +Saturday, October 07, 2006
11:27 pm
[j-reflections: septober2006]
Part II
220906
Gahh. GP paper was bad. I had writer’s block for both the essay and the comprehension. Can you imagine? Writer’s block even for compre questions. And I’m not even talking about AQ. Failure to complete paper goes without saying. I felt that I did my best at that point in time and in the preparation for the paper though.
I don’t like it when people say “everything is alright”. It just reminds me about Kingshaw in “I am the King of the Castle” (elective lit book). Kingshaw keeps telling himself “everything is alright” and committed suicide in the end -_-“
230906
:’( :’( :’(
Both my parents strongly dissuaded me from going to church to study for promos. I pleaded with them a few times. Sigh. I was looking forward to going to church the whole week, especially after mental torment and questioning studies, to just be in God’s presence, worshipping and singing praises unto Him with other believers. Not that one cannot worship and praise God at home but it’s what I always looked forward towards, week after week after week of school. I always worked towards the weekend and what made the weekend particularly enjoyable was the chance to gather with God’s people in church and to worship together with them =)
250906:
- I heard someone saying the word “cook” in Bishan CC (BCC) study room. Then, I suddenly thought: isn’t it amazing how humans have the ability to flavour our food, make it tasty etc. unlike animals. They have to accept what they get. Same/similar food everyday leh! I’m even bored of eating the same food from the hawker centres near my home (which I’ve been staying in for 17 years)… animals have to eat same food for the rest of their lives? We have MUCH to be thankful for.
- For some reason, I suddenly recalled my O Level Malay (Special Programme) paper. Ahaha. There were only around 4 people taking exams in the whole big school hall. Ahaha. The rest were taking Mother Tongue B or something. Ah. The O Level days, so distant, yet so near. Distant because its over. Distant because of where I stand academically now. Yet, so near because I have is the IKEA box filled with O level stuff in the corner of my living room. Near because the person sitting next to me at BCC is studying for it.
260906:
- kan4 de2 kai1 already. I no longer felt stupid for studying even though no one pushed me to do so. Perhaps it’s just the way I’m created. Argh. I don’t want to go into the whole nature/nurture thing [GP/philo]. Either way, or rather a combination of both, I am the way I am now. I shouldn’t do something that I would not feel comfortable doing, such as not studying or something.
- Also, there was a middle-aged lady sitting beside me at BCC. She was studying O Level subjects. I inferred that she was a private candidate. Then I looked at myself. Janice! This lady beside you probably had no chance to take O Levels before, and here you are, blessed with the opportunity to so A Level studies in NJC and yet you are complaining?!? Since I am here already, I might as well make the best out of this experience. Does complaining and being frustrated help at all? NO. It’ll only make yourself more miserable, and even affect those around you. [It’s really sad that we often do not know how fortunate we are until we open our eyes to those around us.] Everything is in God’s hands. God has a wonderful plan and purpose for us, wherever and whoever we are. Doing your best wherever God has allowed you to be pleases Him =) I don’t know why I couldn’t see it this way few days ago, even though that’s what people say. Sometimes, you have to experience things for yourself before you accept the theory. (Heh. Of course it doesn’t apply to everything.) So after that, I was full of joy. Even math didn’t seem that tough, and I did math the whole day. Really, I finally understood the joy and pleasure of studying for God and doing my best because he placed me there. I could imagine God was looking down at me from heaven, pleased that I was doing my best ^_^
- Question 20, Pg 300 of H2 Mathematics TB has this question: Anna’s brother suggests that she marks our a circular plot rather than a rectangular plot to give her an even bigger are. Anna is confused and decided to consult you (j-comments: HAHA!). What advice would you give Anna? I thought: rectangle. Don’t be greedy. It’s easier to manage a rectangular plot instead of a circle one =P haha
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+ +Friday, October 06, 2006
11:15 pm
After trying to type my entry directly into blogger MANY MANY times, I gave up and decided to type it into Microsoft Word first. Something’s wrong with my internet connection =x
Argh. This feels so unnatural. After not blogging for lets see… 15 days? I think I kind of lost the “feeling” of writing, even though I have lots to blog about. I kept a little log of the random thoughts/reflections I had each day during the Promos and the time before that. Whee. After much thought, I decided to upload these entries by parts, naming the entries—[j-reflections: septober2006] =P call it lame, whatever. Ahaha. I can’t think of anything else yet. Open to suggestions =) I also had the initial thought of categorising the entries according to Faith/Random interesting events/general opinions and thoughts about the world but decided against it because it’s very hard to separate them. They’re all part of me, interwoven, virtually inseparable.
[j-reflections: septober2006]
Part I 090906-100906:
My family went to Corpthorne Waterfront Hotel for 1 day to celebrate my parents’ ROM Anniversary and anniversary. Ahaha. Weird thing is, my sis and I stayed overnight while my parents went home =P
We watched the movie “I am Sam” on HBO and I cried non-stop. This is the first time a MOVIE has ever made me cry at least 80% of the time. Ahaha. Watch it if you have the chance =)
170906:
I forgot to take my wallet when I left the house for church!!! Ahh!!! And I only realised it when I arrived at the bus stop opposite J8 -_-“ I was debating whether or not to go home to get it and decided against the idea. No way I’m going to miss what I waited one whole week for =) So, I said a short prayer and plucked up my courage to ask someone at the bus stop for 50 cents. I looked around the bus stop for people who looked kind. Ahaha. I realised that the lady sitting next to me was reading something written by a pastor. Hmms. Sweet. So I asked, and she gave =) I managed to get to church on time =)
[Approx] 180906
The sky was brighter earlier than usual. I remembered O Level Geog, and came to a hypothesis that that day was the autumn equinox—the day where the sun is directly above the equator, ie., suns rays hit the equator directly (this is not usually the case because of the tilt of the earth about its axis). I was unsure so I decided to check with JL (Pure Geog as well) about the days where the sun is in the sky the longest for equatorial regions. -_-“ his reaction was “explosive” I must say. He insisted that the longest days were the summer and winter solstice. He sounded so convicted that I doubted my hypothesis. Still, I didn’t accept it. Haha. I went home that day and decided to do a search about it. Haha. Wikipedia says I’m right =P
200906:
Wahaha. My birthday =) I can’t believe I didn’t blog on my birthday.
biG bIG BIG GRACIAS to la amiga. She baked shortcakes for me!!! She spent the whole night baking even though promos were just around the corner. So touched. It was super yummy too. And she was the only one who called to wish me happy birthday =)
Big thanks to Jack, Jasmine and Zhuang Mao who bought me the book Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis =)
Thanks to those who
SMS-ed me in order of receipt of SMS: Jun Li, Ming Xuan [on behalf of PA], Shu Huey, Zhuang Mao, Sarah, Li Si, Charis, Cihui, Tan Chun
MSN/E-mail: Sweedy, Komathi
And other people who wish me happy birthday =)
There was also GP make-up lesson. Mr Leong was being super secretive about the GP Tutor’s code thing.initially, he wanted to giver every group different codes. It made me so excited. It was if there’s some gigantic conspiracy among the teachers. LOL. He said other teachers knew his code for the pass few years. We asked, “Did your students die?” Mr Leong, “No… They’re already dead.” =P Lol. So he instructed us not to let anyone else know the code.
I don’t know if this epinephrine surge caused the O Level Biology “long term effect of adrenaline on the body: tired muscles”. That lesson caused me to start worrying about GP quite a bit, and the soreness throughout my body lasted the whole day. For no apparent rhyme or reason, the muscle soreness had to “attack” on my birthday. Sometimes, my fingers even felt numb =x But, knowing that I was powerless in doing anything about the soreness, I prayed. Thankfully, the soreness disappeared at around 10pm+ =)
[Approx] 210906:
- I kept wondering and thinking about the purpose of studying. Even though I know that as a Christian student, my motivation for studying should be for the glory of God. Somehow, no matter how hard I tried to see it in this light, I couldn’t convince myself. As in, how can chasing after material things—in this case, paper qualifications, bring glory to God huh? At least that was how it seemed to me at that point. I was extremely frustrated. Moreover, I didn’t know why I studied hard for. Why I stayed in NJC even though my mum said it doesn’t matter (even encouraged) if I went to a JC that was less competitive, more relaxed. I felt dumb, as if studying was totally meaningless. Later on, you’ll read about the development of this issue. I disturbed several people with this question =P
- I nearly freaked out about GP exams. Sent SOS SMSes to those not taking the same exam as me the next day. Eunice and Liang Yi called me to pray with me over the phone =)
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