blessed.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
[ Jeremiah 29:11 ]

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Friday, October 13, 2006

9:29 pm

[j-reflections: septober 2006]

Part III
290906:

Math paper. it was quite dumb because i forgot how to do simple integration and differentiation steps, and binomial expansion!! so, the paper didnt go too well. when time was up, i reasoned that i should be feeling disappointed with my performance. i was trying to force myself to be sad because i reasoned that it was the rightful emotional response to the event.
then i was wondering... how do u d(peace)/d(indifference)? or is it easier to d(indifference)/d(peace)? strange thing is, i nearly tried it out. HAH. then i decided it was dumb and dumped the thought
i wanted to be "normal" and feel disappointed but after several hrs of futile attempts, i gave up at trying to be disappointed. what really bothered me was my behaviour.
i do not do what i want to do.

300906:

Agree with me that everyone has a different skill set, a unique combination of weaknesses and strengths. none is identical, and none can ever be better than others in every aspect. there will be flaws because humans are imperfect creatures. creatures with hearts that have evil, sinful tendencies. everyone is strong and weak in different areas. i guess this "forces" people to learn to support and help those lacking in the area we are strong in. the common saying, "no man is an island" had renewed meaning to me. to me, it's God's plan for interaction and fellowship between humans.
sometimes, i feel that i just do not fully understand what i'm being told time and time again unless i experience and understand the personal application of such wisdom. heh.
less serious stuff: i arrived at BCC 5 minutes late and there were no cubicles left. there were 2 open tables for 4, which were occupied by one person each(both guys). i went to the nearest one, asking if i could share the table. who knew, after a while, that guy's girlfriend came?! it was totally embarrasing and i didnt know what to do. i didnt want to go home because i wouldnt be able to concentrate. so, i just stayed put. thick-skin a bit, continued sitting there but i rushed to an empty cubicle when someone left =P i reckon i played gooseberry for 5hrs? haha

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